A little update regarding closing or selling the site.
Figured I would give my opinion of the commercials during the Super Bowl. There are a lot of commercials, but I’m only going to talk about the repeat offenders and ones that are worth wasting my time on.
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This little squirrel jumps out into the road to get an acorn that fell. (I love squirrels, they really interest me) Anyhow, the squirrel is eating his nut and looks to see a car hauling ass right straight towards it. He starts screaming and it begins panning to other animals who are screaming too. It’s funny because you hear a racoon scream, owl hoot scream, bunny scream, rat squeal scream, turtle scream, deer scream, an insect make noise, other squirrels scream and then woman scream. Pretty good.
This guy is showing off lighting candles with his fire breath. Of course, then a cat rolls in and makes him start sneezing and he catches everything on fire. Seems like it’s already been done. blah.
Danica Patrick hair blowing and unzipping her jacket. Man, I like GoDaddy for domain names, but they absolutely SUCK at commercials. I just don’t get their point. What a waste of money and my time.
I made a more detailed post about Kina Grannis wins Doritos contest, but I was happy to see this commercial since it meant my prediction came true. Click the link above to read more and here is the vide.
Company is using pigeons to send things and the boss asks what about the big items and they show these giant pigeons dropping shit on the streets destroying the city and picking up cars and throwing them around. Ok.
This kinda made me chuckle only because this guy is in an interview and trying to sell himself and he has a stain on his shirt that talks when the guy talks making it impossible to understand what he was saying. The whole point is, when someone has a big stain visible, it’s kind of distracting and can make you miss what the person is saying. I think it was a clever commercial and kinda funny.
A staple every year. Horses wanting to be the big horse on the block. This one’s name is “Thunder” and he goes into training with a Dalmatian. He pulls trains, lifts haystacks, runs in and out of tress in the snow. Then one year later, he gets to be one of the Clydesdale horses. Ok. But do horses really want to have to pull carriages around?
Nothing funnier than people nodding off and getting the ole head jerk going. Reminds me of JJ on a flight where he nodded forward about the time the plane took a nose dive and he almost went through the seat in front of him. The dude with the comb over hair is my favorite. Good stuff.
This chics heart pops out of her tit and starts walking off. As she’s watching it, it holds up a sign that says “I QUIT”. Kinda funny. I’m guessing the chic is at a dead end job and the boss seems slimy.
This is one of the more funny ones so far. A chic, looks like Naomi Cambell, but I’m probably wrong, she starts doing the Thriller dance with a bunch of lizards. They’re smiling and one has bling in his teeth. There is a grasshopper dancing with them and one lizard slings his tongue out to snatch it up and eat it while dancing. One also throws a dark cloud behind him like he farted. Best one so far.
Carlos Mencia is teaching a group of foreign dorks how to pick up chics with their accents. You have the thighs of a Sherpa. Hi, hi, hi. Pulls out a chicken. Then Mencia tries to show them how and the hot chic is already with one of the dorks. Best part is a dude standing in between two chics and says “We make sandwich and I am meat”. HA. Ok. Kind of reminded me of the beer rules thing.
This chic is horribly ugly and has this one huge eyebrow that goes across her head, along with some big horse teeth. Everyone is running through glass, bumping into each other, all slobbering over her (men of course). Then the secret is revealed, she rubs planters peanuts on her like perfume and it attracts men. Not great, but ok enough to post about it.
We’ve all been whipped by these commercials over the past year or two. Well they finally update it and Barkley lets Wade in his Fave 5. Wade excited tells Barkley to call “anytime”. So he gets his wish and Barkley is calling him constantly and always interrupting him giving him advice and just wanting to hang out. Made me laugh.
Once again JT doesn’t disappoint. The idea of the commercial is you drink more pepsi and you get closer to JT music from amazon music. This chic is sucking through a straw and JT is being thrown around town. He comes upon Adam Sandberg dressing as drag with a blonde wig on. He then is being thrown down a street where he comes face to face with a SUV and stands up only to see our Tony Romo and a few other Cowboys in the car. Great commercial. A reference to “Dick in a Box” would have made it perfect.
This one was odd. A dude sits down in front of a mouse trap where he puts a doritos cheese chip on the trap. As he’s sitting there waiting, he grabs a handful of chips and shoves them in his mouth. As this happens, a huge mouse crashes through the wall tackling the man beating him up. Weird.
There were 2 commercials. First was stupid. Second was making a witch doctor shrink the head. Failed.
This was kinda funny with Shaq actually looking bigger than the horse. The horse names were pretty funny, but Shaq wins “by a nose” which was his nose because he leaned forward at the finish line past the noses of the horse. Then the jockeys walk by and slap him in the ass which was high for them to even touch.
Ok, I call “STOLEN” from the FedEx on this one. FedEx had the big hit commercial with the cavemen, so now Bud Light is using the same thing. Anyhow, the cavemen are trying to push their stone ice chest full of bud light to a party. Another caveman shows up with invention of the wheel saying it helps get bud light to party faster. Next scene is them all carrying the wheel with the stone ice chest on top. HA! Then it ends with one using a rock smashing a bottle saying the bottle opener sucks.
We’re all familiar with the car commercials where the car is going down the road and a boulder falls in the road in the rain and they swerve around it. This one starts out that way, then they come up on Alice Cooper which they swerve around. After that, here comes Richard Simmons doing his bit in the middle of the road and the driver punches it and doesn’t turn like he’d rather just kill Simmons, but turns at the last second. Kinda funny.
HAAAA! Best one of the night. This baby is standing in his crib and talking stocks. The animation part is really good because it looks like the baby is really saying everything. While he’s talking he has a weird look on his face, then pukes. And gives a “Whoa!” Biggest laugh out loud of the night. (could be margaritas though) –A second commercial came on where he rented a clown.
Gives you the ability to fly now. A dude is flying through the clouds, then a plane comes along and the engine sucks him in. Then they immediately say “the ability to fly is no longer available”. Good fun.
Man there wasn’t much to this commercial other than how much fun a big-wheel race looks. I’m IN to whoever wants to put this together. Get a green machine and power brake around corners. haa!
Anything with Will Ferrell is genius, usually. He stars in a Bud Light commercial and the setting looks just like that goofy Old Spice commercial where the guys chest hair is growing. He goes by the name of “Jackie Moon – Flint Tropics Player/Coach”. He is in this bad basketball outfit with a headband trying to give the line but keeps ad libbing and getting the “CUT” call. “A lot of sweat goes into the bottle” .. “refreshes the palette, and the loins” .. HAA! I can’t make out what the last thing is he says, but good commercial.
Definitely my favorite of the night. I doubt anyone will beat this, especially since the game is almost over. This girl needs a jump start due to a dead battery in her car. This fat dude with his shirt unbuttoned attaches the cables to his nipples and all these speakers pop out of his truck. He starts dancing to build up energy and the car doesn’t turn over. So he drinks another drink of “Amp” and pulls off another white guy break dancing (Landen Fredrick) and it builds up enough energy to start the girls car. This definitely cracked me up. Thankfully someone saved this years commercials.
In summary, I put a lot of time and energy into this post. More than I expected to do. Here it is 11pm CST and there is still 1 minute left to go in the game because I’ve had to pause so many times to give my thoughts on the good commercials. What pisses me off are the following things:
- The Cowboys aren’t in this game
- The Commercials this year S-U-C-K-E-D-!-!-!
- The Giants won who we beat both times this season
- This makes me feel like I have no life
Although I hate the Giants winning, I think I’m happy because the Pats didn’t get their perfect season. Now the Dallas teams of late aren’t the biggest chokers. HAA! Plus, I LOVE NEW YORK CITY, so I’m good with the Giants winning.
I didn’t see the running man…I didn’t see the new jack swing…I didn’t see the prestine smoothness and michael jacksonesque, mc hammertime, New Kids on the Block form of the Over Dancer.