I have to admit…I am a passive P1. I never call in. I have never been to a road show (actually, that isn’t entirely true. My old band played a GNO once 11 years ago), and I have never been to Ticketstock. Ok, I have called in three times…once when Ryne Sandberg unretired, once to talk to Kurt Menafee about a baseball game I attended, and once to talk about a hockey playoff series with the Hard Line (where I was on hold for over an hour). I should also mention that I was 18 years old and didn’t really know what the hell those guys did for a living.
Until Twitter came along, I had zero interaction with the current Ticket staff. Since the advent of Twitter, I have engaged many hosts with what I believe to be insightful sports points and all sorts of witty banter. For the most part, these moments of brilliance have disappeared into the ether, never to be spoken of again….until yesterday, when Junior Miller mentioned one of my tweets on the air. He didn’t give me credit, and it was perhaps 4 seconds of air time, but it made me feel like a million bucks. Something I created was used as a salient sports point on the greatest sports radio station ever created.
So, it got me to thinking about how often UnTicket readers are featured on the air, and what they consider to be their greatest moment on the airwaves. Tell me about your greatest moment when it comes to being on the air with the fellas.
Damn, I almost forgot…I talked to the Sports Princess once. Hopefully that doesn’t leave too many of you behind, but it was pretty forgettable.
Maybe you were on Big Dick’s P1 Wild Ass Circus. Or maybe you were featured in a roundtable. Or, maybe it was as simple as a tweet being mentioned. Either way, what is your greatest on-air moment?
My greatest on air moment was on the Rant about 8 or 9 years ago when I called in as the Fake Dr. Yung Yow. I did a typical / terrible Asian accent, and told Gordo that “I” was proud of the procedure (where the doc inserted a padlock through a woman’s vagina after kidnapping and drugging her) and I would not apologize to the woman or her family because I “performed the procedure to perfection.” At least I got it on tape, and I ended up getting dumped and hung up on by Gordo.
I was Sideshow Bob back in the late ’90s.
Bob has responded to 2 of my tweets…..
I’ve got a birthday mention the last 2 years…. I got Corby to sing a few lines of “running with the devil” as Claudette (since it was Eddie Van Halen’s birthday too) and then a laugh out of the guys for saying my wife offered our dog and a jar of peanut butter instead of waking me up in that “special way.” That was last week.
Never called in to a show, though….
Gordon has read 2-3 of my emails on the air and Junior mentioned me when talking to Gordon about a separate email. Gordon also read some stuff I wrote on Wikipedia about Adam Schefter.
I use to write and read dark poetry on the Musers and Hardline shows…
I used to do stuff with the Rant in studio. Gordo would call me the Ticket janitor and I would basically be his in-house laugh track…
I did several P1 WAC shows with Big Dick…good times.
My best fond on air moment was reading “Blue Love” at Ticketstock on the air…it was basically a sex ode to Smurfette.
I called into the cowboys post game show a couple of months back just goin off on Tony Romo! Basically, I let everyone know that I think Romo is one of the most worthless QB’s in the NFL. Everytime he is on the sideline, he is shown sittin by himself, pouting, staring at the ceiling, doin nothin to get his team fired up or work on any problems that they might be able to correct on the next possession (still true). He does nothing more than collect a paycheck and take advantage of his social status as the Cowboys QB, and that if anyone thinks that this is the guy that leads the Cowboys back to the Super Bowl that they are sorely mistaken. Obviously Norm didnt like that! The next day he was doin a mix with The Musers and mentioned how I was all up in Tony Romo’s grill. I guess after he took some time to think about it, he said Tony wasnt staring at the ceiling but instead was watchin TV on that HUGE videoboard. It felt good to have been remembered, even though he still wont admit Romo is a worthless TOOL! High Five For Jesus, Two For Worthless Tools!
Last year during Ticket Tradio I called in 63 consecutive times to try to get on the air at 11:35 with Norm. After nearly giving up hope, Norm answered the phone and I was on the air. I offered up an HD 1080p Projector with screen, and two 20″ LCD monitors. A girl called me again at 4pm and wanted to know some more details, and told me that I was easily in first place for the 2009 Cowboys season tickets (the closest person gave a mountain bike). The final item was put up on the Hardline at 4:35, and this bastard gave a 1995 Tahoe. How can a 23 year old guy compete with that? Bullsh.
P1 Justin from Denton
I once, by some miracle, made it on during E-break voting. I voted for something that was not actually nominated that week (Rich had made a comment to BD Hunter about BD’s dad…turns out the man was dead, and an awkward layout ensued). Anyways, so I nominate this, and after the Musers recover from the shock of me signing off by telling them I have AIDS, they ask Rich what I was talking about. Rich tells them, then Gordon decides that the audio needs to be revisited during Gordo’s corner, which they did. Then, one week later, that segment is made an E-break nominee. I always thought that was pretty significant.
Junior once read on the air an email I sent to him about NFL comeback player of the year awards…thought it was pretty cool
I emailed Gordo back in 2007 and got to do 2 8:40 bits as fake coach Fran when he was getting fired at Texas A&M. That was a ton of fun to do. I only wish he’d been hired on at SMU so I could have kept it up. Yes, I am a faithful ag.
Well, I know this will not believed by most but my buddy and I invented “have good and get give”. We used to call into the rant and beat Gordo down with it. It must have gotten engrained in Gordo’s head and he started using it about a year later.
My greatest on radio moment was when an email i wrote to gordo made it onto gordo’s corner. The email was about a strange going to commercial setup on NBC news in the morning. The anchor said, ” Coming up ! Girl gets brain tumor removed.” They then cut to a video of a young blonde girl who says, “Girls are under so much pressure to lose weight”. It was just a very unfortunate order of upcomming stories that made me giggle. I woke up that morning, turned on the corner and low and behold Sir Gordon read my email. It was a good moment and even better when George and Craig laughed with a little disgust.
The Musers used my submission for “You’re as Ass If” about a month ago. I was rambling about how you’re an ass if you have more than 3 bumper stickers on your car because you’re just trying to incite other drivers. I’m sure it was memorable only for me.
Who????
“I was Sideshow Bob back in the late ’90s.”
Who???
I called in during the e-brake with a vote for Miss Teen South Carolina the week she was nominated, and my shtick at least managed to get a laugh out of Gordon.
I’ve also emailed the shows a couple of times with topics they ended up bringing up on the air. If any of you were listening to the Hard Line a few weeks back and heard Corby read a review of Danny’s album that referred to him as an “aging indie rocker”, I had sent Corby that link. He didn’t respond to my email, though, so I’m not sure if I was the only one that sent it to him.
I went on a fishing trip to Brazil back in 2003 and Norm was one of the other customers. We all spent a week on a houseboat without setting foot on dry land. When Norm was back on the air the following week, he referenced some of the fish I caught including my first and last name. It was cool. That’s the full extent of my on-air history.
I did parody songs for BAD radio a few years ago. I did a decent fake indian voice singing his version of several songs: Jack and Diane (Iraq and Iran) Better Man (Pearl Jam) and Whatever by Liam Leeson. I also won a contest for the overly produced 38 Special cover called “Hold On Finley”. Landed me a spot on Big Dick’s show for a segment.
I was on air with Gordon during the Rant one time talking about Rocky Dennis and midgets….My brother won the Media Room from the Compound a couple of years ago…When Bob did a Dallas Morning News chat a few weeks ago my name was Dodger Pro Shop and I asked Bob if it was as good for him as it was for me. and he responded to to it in the chat…(reference to the horrible gas he had at Dodger Stadium that cleared out the store)
I had my birthday wish read on WTDS back in October. I laughed, I cried. It was a great day.
I was on the P1WAC multiple times and had a blast. I actually got to go with BDH and Turley on one of their adventures to Red Rocks to see Blues Traveler. It was totally awesome.
Also, in grad school, I had this little talk radio show on the campus radio station (I know, so g*y), but Junior came up to the show one night to be interviewed. It was pretty cool and just a great example of how down to earth and appreciative of his roots Junior is.
Called into the “Ten O’ Clock Takefeast” on Sturm’s old night show a couple of times.
Lessee… Dan read my name 1000% wrong on the only birthday shoutout I’ve gotten. (read the name on the address, not the name on the “from” line or what I signed it with, then completely butchered my surname, which many do anyway)
Gordo’s read a few of my emails… I can’t remember now exactly which ones, nor do I neither have them all saved to go back and jog my memory. I do remember that when they had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on, either him or Craig read my suggestion that they should “ask Mr. Jabbar how he was fairing after the incident at the Dallas Zoo a few years ago.” Then Craig mentioned that I may be a bit confused, and Jerr played the 6 Million-Dollar Ape sounder, and I laughed with arms raised up in victory. (BTW, I’m a complete and total sports ra-tard. I had to look up Kareem’s name to remember who it was I said the line about.)
Also when that one kid tried to sell Corby all of that Super-Shine-‘N-Clean crap, he read my email about how when I was a kid, a guy tried to sell the stuff to me and my mom, and showed us how safe the stuff was by unscrewing the sprayer and licking the pickup tube.
Holy crap, I almost forgot! You remember the “Ahh snake, oh snake” drop that comes from the Weebls-Stuff “Badger, badger” toon? It was me who pulled that and sent it in. Sadly my remixed version of Daft Punk’s “Robot Rock”, “Robot Greggo Rock” didn’t make it in. I wonder if I still have that somewhere.
Oh yeah, my Brother John also created the Stephen Hawking “Never Listen To BaD Radio” liner.
I was responsible for setting up the ticket intern fight between TC and James, and suggested a few other competitions for them as well. Dan McDowell actually said “hey, save that email!” upon reading my suggestions, which surprised the heck out of me. I also managed to get a “life-or-death” GNG scenario read by Donovan a few years back, but alas, no resolution was reached.
I’ve been on BDH’s WAC a few times. Each of them a lot of fun. I won the Beverly Hills 90210 Trivia contest. My favorite moment was when Junior read one of my emails. My family was at a wedding, we were sitting in the church before the ceremony. They were playing music before the ceremony and the music stopped. During the silence, my son leaned over and whispered in my ear, “On the Ticket” and then straightened up and put on an innocent face. I started laughing and my wife shot me a dirty look. I got a kick out o hearing the story on the air.
Two that stick out (beyond the e-mails being read):
1) I spliced together some audio from the Pavlik/Taylor boxing match that explored the whole white guy bringing the lunch pail hard worker versus black guy being super athletic and having natural ability phenomenon that BaD Radio has fun with. They were impressed how I had prepared the audio clips, separating each one with 3-4 seconds of silence and said I could take Tom’s job if I wanted to, lol.
2) I sent in a parody song of that UNT guy who got all the mic feedback as he was congratulating the Mean Green on winning a conference championship or something. The Musers played it on air, that was cool.
Back in the late 90s, early 2000s, whenever a show would roll screenless, I would call in as the Fake Macho Man, but only saying his signature phrase, “OOOOOOOHHHH YEAAAAH! DIG IT?!” and sometimes I’d tag it with “SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!”
When Doogie would fill in, he kept doing the Battle of the Musical Enders, and an old Audio Adrenaline cassette tape that I had given BDH for use on the Battle of the Musical Enders wound up being used. There was one song in particular that I had intended for BDH and Doogie to use, but they wound up using “Who Do You Love?” which wound up being a multiple time winner. I think it was finally knocked off by Stephanie McMahon and the WCW/ECW wrestlers singing “Wind Beneath Our Ring”(a parody of “Wind Beneath My Wing”).
And several years ago, I picked up on a new hobby known as e-fedding(basically, writing fictitious short stories involving fictitious wrestlers… or as it’s better known, fake fake wrestling), and the first characters I ever used(who I still use to this day for an efed that I now run myself) were the Sports Nutz, consisting of Craig “Senior” Mueller and George Dunpork, along with their manager “The Excellent Gordie” Gordon Heath, who would constantly distract the referee and help George and Craig win matches. No matter what fed I was in, whenever I used the Sports Nutz, I would eventually win that fed’s tag team championships. I emailed the Musers about it, showing them my exploits, as some of the feds made banners using pictures of the Musers(as they were the picture bases for the Sports Nutz). So when I met up with the Musers at Ticketstock 2007, Gordo, Craig and George all asked if they were still the tag team champions. Good times!
Oh, and I was Matt the P1 Virgin on the P1 WAC and kissed Genifer North, though I try to distance from that gimmick.
Norm was getting worked up about the BCS system about 10 years ago. So I called in.
My point was “If a team is 12-0 with an average margin of victory of 7, that’s better than being 10-2 with an average margin of victory of 21.”
Then he yelled at me. A lot.
In the late 90’s early 00’s I used to do Generic Monster during the e-break. George hated that bit. Best moment though was when I won Wolverine Durashocks as the Generic Monster.
Holy crap, I remember the Generic Monster! Great times! Need to hit George with the double whammy of VSBB and Generic Monster 😀
I have called in MANY times. I end all my calls by saying, “Sorry to hear about the stations loss, REST IN PEACE Norm” I get on the Orphanage alot with that. One time Norm was on vacation & I asked his replacements if Norm’s funeral would be Open Casket.
I emailed in some dark valentine’s day cards to Gordo that got read on air and he mentioned my name. I submitted a few stories for “Fax Fodder” on the hardline that got read and I used to call in to the rant as the Fake Toby Keith, basically I used my regular voice and threatened to put a boot up Corby’s ass if he didn’t give me a dog he found. I also called in last year when they were looking for people for fight night and told Danny I wanted to fight a kangaroo.
In 2002, I won the “What Would You Do” contest at Ticketstock. The prize was getting to play on Team Hardline at Charity Challenge on Ice V. It was AWESOME!! On my team were Greggo, Corby, Sturm, Dave Lane, etc., and our coach was Ken Hitchcock. Although we lost, I shaved my head with the rest of the team and had a cold one in the locker room with Greggo.
Mark Calcavecchia bit where they confused him with another golfer…greatness
Once got Gordon and Junior to come to my Halloween party. This was back in the day, so Gordo was in the devil suit and I think Junior was Abe Lincoln. Anyway, my friends and I were the Beverly Hillbillies, and I got short straw as Ellie May. I wore the Daisy Dukes, the checkered shirt tied around my belly, all that. Gordo thought it was great, so he talked about it on Monday morning, which was really fun to hear.
Gordon used to live one block away from me, but he moved to Preston Hollow. You don’t hear him talk about that much, huh?
Few of them:
1) my buddy was the kid on TCU campus that inspired the “back pack full of weed” drop by Corby. And yes, the back pack had weed in it.
2) Many a drunken call to diamond talk as my cousins drove me back to Dallas.
3) Calling in to Jub during the camp out before he had Brady Black on from RRR, we talked about fiddles and music.
4) Failed Michelle Wii vote on E-Brake