The first story kinda made me go “wait. did she just say being a porn star is a pretty good job?” Then when she tells us if Octo-mom does a series of porn, her kids will get medical and dental insurance, that a “mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do”, I stopped what I was doing to tune in.

While she has my attention, Heather moves into the next story about beer ponging. She says that beer ponging will give you HERPES!!! WHAT??? Did Heather Hayes just go from telling me I should get a job as a porn star for a million bucks because it’s a good job, then follow it up with telling me I can’t play beer pong because it will give me herpes??? At this point, I’ve shut the entire house down to hear MORE!

FINALLY, Heather tells me, “Parents, turn the volume down if you have kids in the room.” 😐 So you’re telling my kids that porn is a good job and that you get herpes for playing beer pong, but this story is going to top those? Luckily, my kids were asleep, but please, tell me the next story Heather! She tells us that kids that hear sexually related music at a young age have a higher rate of having sex? (while the music of Katy Perry “I kissed a girl and I like it” is playing in the background) I’m now mesmerized. Heather Hayes just told me a million dollar porn contract that provides benefits is GOOD. Beer pong is bad because it gives you herpes. And Katy Perry’s song that she kissed a girl will cause sex early and we shouldn’t let our kids hear her say that. WTF! Enough said. But hear it all for yourself.